We need a humor thread

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Oh great Tim....
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Not the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?!
That means we must feast upon Fruit Bats, Orangutans and breakfast cereals.....
How to use the Holy Hand grenade. First pull the holy pin, then count to three, no more, no less. three shall be the number thou shall count and the number of the count shalt be three. four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out!

Once the number three is reached lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my site shall snuff it!
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