Here's one for the books:
A guy calls me right before I get ready to leave for work - He's an Everdry salesman. The conversation took a little longer that it'll take to read this. It took over a minute because of the silence between responses from the operator, and myself.
Me: Hello?
Everydry salesman: "Good morning sir, I'm calling because your neighbor told us that you basement is leaking, or it's been wet".
Me: Really?
Everdry salesman: "Yes".
Me: Well, that wasn't very nice of them to do that! I can't believe they would go around telling the whole world about my personal business - unbelievable!!
Everdry salesman: "Well, sir I'm prepared to make you a special offer -"
Me: Wait - couldn't it have been the old lady on the corner?
Everdry salesman: "I don't know for sure, I didn't take the call."
Me: Well, I don't know who it could've............(long pause), now that I think about it, I'll bet it was the busybody down the street - she's always telling everyones' business to anyone who will listen anyway! (sounding pissed now)
Everdry salesman: (laughs)
Me: No - it must've been superman! I told him to stop looking at all my models with his X-ray vision, they aren't for sale!
Everydry salesman: "Um, sir?"
Me: (interrupting) It had to be him, because no one else can possibly see into my basement!
Everydry salesman: "I'm not sure who it is, we only get recommendations from our customers."
Me: You don't remember your customers?
Everdry salesman: "Yes, we do, but we don't always remember who they recommened, since we only contact the person they recommend to us."
Me: Well, if you can't remember who told you, how am I supposed to know who to call, and cuss out for telling my personal business to a total stranger?
Everdry salesman: (laughing out loud, while replying)"I'm only a representative of the company, sir - don't have any personal information like that."
Me: Well whoever called you, and told you that I have a wet basement is a liar - it's perfectly dry under my foundation!!
Everdry salesman: "Your foundation?"
Me: It'd be a hell of a trick! I told you no one could see into my basement - I don't have one!!!!!!
Everdry salesman: "Um, your crawlspace?"
Me: Nope, I don't have one of those either. Nice try! I guess this is part of your spiel that you have to tell everyone? I don't have a basement, but my buddy down street has does - I'm sure he won't mind if you guys come over, and look at it.
Everdry salesman: "Uh, that won't be neccessary -"
Me: Why not? He probably has some type of leak down there, he keeps telling me that it backs up in the sewer every now, and again.
"Everdry salesman: (said nervously)"Um - no, that's OK. Have a nice day, sir!"
Me: You sure?
Everdry salesman: "No, I'm positive - it's OK! Thanks for your time. Uh, have a nice day, sir!"
Me: (said in a sarcasticly nonchelant voice) You too! Thanks for calling.
