We need a humor thread

[RacerX]

Help Mr. Wizard. I don't want to be a pilot anymore!

60 years and its just dawned on me, Mr Wizard had to save Tuders sorry as in every show.

 

[Edbert]

 

[Rockin' Rob]

I would love to have this hanging right outside the door to my modeling room

 

[Ron2]

I know it's not about models but I'm fortunate enough to own a German Shepherd or, maybe it's the other way around.

Part GS part Malinois part cane corso every night at 6-630 she's 100% devil.

 

[Wolf Star]

I may have to give up some time at the bench

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Since she's wearing all white she matches the kitchen appliances at least.

 

[Wolf Star]

I debated posting these here, while I do find them hillarious, the real killing that is going on is far from funny.

Anyway, all disclaimers about my bad taste apply, here's the latest from the Ukranian battlefields.
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Lastly, an example that they do work, at least sorta...

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Armor-arborists

 

[BarleyBop]

Armor-arborists

 

[Rockin' Rob]

Part GS part Malinois part cane corso every night at 6-630 she's 100% devil.

Yep, part devil and the rest is PURE ENERGY...What 'n HELL we gonna do after we get done doing this??

 

[Ron2]

Yep, part devil and the rest is PURE ENERGY...What 'n HELL we gonna do after we get done doing this??

So do GS chew a lot? Our is still a pup, 8mo, she had pica real bad but damn this dog will eat anything and chew on anything.

 

[Rockin' Rob]

So do GS chew a lot? Our is still a pup, 8mo, she had pica real bad but damn this dog will eat anything and chew on anything.

Funny you should say that. When we got him we had a upholstered chair next to the couch. You know the little flap of fabric about four to five inches long going from the bottom of the chair to the floor on all the sides? He immediately found that and just started chewing that bottom piece of fabric hanging down. Of course he did it while I wasn't looking so by the time I saw the damage? It was far too late and the chair became his. He just turned three and has a bit of manners so a month ago I bought a new chair. That's about all he really chewed on, like I had a dog once that like chewing the casings around doors. This one doesn't do that but oh my Lord our arms were so scarred up for a while. You don't realize when you're younger but when you get older? Your skin gets papery thin and you get Cuts really easy. When my wife sat down on the couch she had to wear a Levi Jacket so he wouldn't tear her arms up.

 

[Wolf Star]

"Do you feel in charge?"

 

[Rockin' Rob]

"Do you feel in charge?"
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You are an insignificant flea. I'm the one in charge

 

[Rockin' Rob]

I have a question for cat owners. I have never owned a cat. Always dogs. My question is this.. Why do cats act like their s__t don't stink??

 

[RacerX]

My boys, the little guy is daddy Waelan, the big boy is Grisly Bear. Weely is a Australin shepperd and Bear is ausy and Great Perinese. Bear weighs in at 75+ and walks like he is 500lbs and has sense he was puppy. I loved it he looked like an 8in tall beast. He was born under my porch along with 4 other sibs, he will be 2 in Jan, but already has half a dozen Lassy stories.

 

[RacerX]

 

[BarleyBop]

Far Side always cracked me up! Still!

 

[Wolf Star]

I have a question for cat owners. I have never owned a cat. Always dogs. My question is this.. Why do cats act like their s__t don't stink??

Some cats are like that more than others. This one thinks he's alpha male, but the 75 lb doggo was here first, so she's literally top dog. I love watching the 2 of them wrestle. I had a different gray tabby once, she loved to fetch her toys and drop them in your lap to throw again. The gray ones are nutty.

 

[TimM63]

75 lb doggo.

Is that a Dogo Argentino? We have a 10 year old 120 lb male named Sir Albert. Here he is watching tv with mama.

 

[Rockin' Rob]

Is that a Dogo Argentino? We have a 10 year old 120 lb male named Sir Albert. Here he is watching tv with mama.

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Sir Albert...Well named. My dog's name is Jax but sometimes I call him Prince. He knows I'm going in so he'll wait by the patio door for me to open it and him to saunter through the door instead of his doggie door.

 

[Ron2]

I have a question for cat owners. I have never owned a cat. Always dogs. My question is this.. Why do cats act like their s__t don't stink??

Because their shot don't stink! We have both and the athleticism of a cat is incredible. We had two cane corso brothers that literally almost killed our neighbors dog twice- yes we took them to classes to try to fix the issue. One day the one dog did something suddenly and the cat flipped her lid. Came running from the other room, jumped, and attacked this dog mid-air, like a damn ninja, she ended up hanging from his jowls- claws stuck. That dog wouldn't walk by her for months and when he finally worked up the nerve would literally turn his head the opposite direction to avoid any eye contact. It was hilarious. 110# cane corso scared of a 10# cat!

 

[Edbert]

The answer to cat versus dog is very complex and about 50% mere opinion. But there is one thing about cats that few people deny is...

The cats express love/affection very differently from the dog.

It can be vague, or thin, and sometimes even appear to vanish. They can be almost as loving ad a dog though. Mine are waiting at the door when I come home from work, sometimes jumping up into my arms or just doing figure-eights between my legs and chirping/trilling like a bird. They frequently lie against me while asleep or watching TV and purr softly. They will lick your hands/wrists while you scratch their heads/ears. Then an hour later they want nothing to do with you preferring to look out the window or curl up somewhere alone.

I think I'd sum it up (yes I am biased) that you have to work-for or earn a cat's affection much more so than a dog's; so having a cat that loves you is frankly a sign of character.

I do enjoy affection from a dog too, most of my friends have dogs and I do enjoy petting/playing with them. But (IMO) dogs are much higher maintenance.

 

[Ron2]

The answer to cat versus dog is very complex and about 50% mere opinion. But there is one thing about cats that few people deny is...

The cats express love/affection very differently from the dog.

It can be vague, or thin, and sometimes even appear to vanish. They can be almost as loving ad a dog though. Mine are waiting at the door when I come home from work, sometimes jumping up into my arms or just doing figure-eights between my legs and chirping/trilling like a bird. They frequently lie against me while asleep or watching TV and purr softly. They will lick your hands/wrists while you scratch their heads/ears. Then an hour later they want nothing to do with you preferring to look out the window or curl up somewhere alone.

I think I'd sum it up (yes I am biased) that you have to work-for or earn a cat's affection much more so than a dog's; so having a cat that loves you is frankly a sign of character.

I do enjoy affection from a dog too, most of my friends have dogs and I do enjoy petting/playing with them. But (IMO) dogs are much higher maintenance.

I'd agree with this 100%. I was shocked at how affectionate cats are after getting one for my daughter. Our first cat loved to rub her head against my bearded chin. She would do this continuously to the point my wife would joke "do you need to get a room?" Both of our current cats greet me at the door, well pre-puppy they did, and the one cat will sit back on its haunches and raise its front legs in the air to me as if to say "pick me up".

 

[BOATMAN]

YES our Lilley pure white cat want nothing to do with me till i put our her dreammies then she licks me but the little bugger gets me up in the morning as she just very gently bites my arm an if that dont get me to wake up she bites me on the arm a little harder then if all eles fails she the jumps up on me or jen in bed an she is quite a big cat as they go so i know it when she does but she wont let me lye in bed past 9 am

 

[WtShark]

Well, crap.....
Lemme get a selfie tho

 

[Wolf Star]

Well, crap.....
Lemme get a selfie tho
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He needs a t-shirt that says, "I survived a plane crash in the ocean and all I got was this lousy inflatable"

 

[Wolf Star]

 

[Wolf Star]

 

[Ron2]

YES our Lilley pure white cat want nothing to do with me till i put our her dreammies then she licks me but the little bugger gets me up in the morning as she just very gently bites my arm an if that dont get me to wake up she bites me on the arm a little harder then if all eles fails she the jumps up on me or jen in bed an she is quite a big cat as they go so i know it when she does but she wont let me lye in bed past 9 am

We used to have a biter too! If she wanted your attention it's best to give it!

 

[jtk]

 

[Rockin' Rob]

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Now THAT'S funny