Building Kits to get away from Life Events

[OldManModeler]

So, lately, my better half and I have had some disputes. It's always about money. So, I retreat to my shop and build plastic kits or work on the tractor or Jeeps... or cut firewood... yada yada. There is always maintenance to do on the vehicles and equipment. Or parts to add to the current plastic model build. Escapism.

Let's hear about why, and when, you build kits. Is it to escape. To win awards. To complete a passion. A pastime. A genuine hobby. I am curious to see if I am alone in the escape and pastime part.

My relationship with my wife is great, but hiccups happen. This helped a lot:



Be well. Model on.

Eric

 

[MJY65]

I build airplanes to maintain my connection to aviation. I have a pilot's license, and once owned a Cirrus SR22. I realized I was too busy at my practice and sold the plane before I had an accident and killed myself. Now that I'm retired (60), I feel like I'm too old to get back into it.

 

[OldManModeler]

I build airplanes to maintain my connection to aviation. I have a pilot's license, and once owned a Cirrus SR22. I realized I was too busy at my practice and sold the plane before I had an accident and killed myself. Now that I'm retired (60), I feel like I'm too old to get back into it.

I am not a pilot. But I have friend who flies commercially. He currently flies helicopters for a touring company. He used to fly stunt biplanes at airshows. Lately, he tells me how about one of his pilot friends die a year due to prang.

 

[MJY65]

Those two (along with pipeline and Ag flying) are definitely at the high end of the accident spectrum.

 

[OldManModeler]

Those two (along with pipeline and Ag flying) are definitely at the high end of the accident spectrum.

My friend wants out, but the money is real good. Too good.

 

[BarleyBop]

if I am alone in the escape

... the model making part of town?

 

[Sweet-Chuck]

I'm new to the hobby, only picking it up a month-ish ago. I NEEDED something to do that would be different than staring at my phone, or working. 'The man' gets a lot of my time already. Usually this time of year I exercise pretty regularly, but the space I've done that in is currently......compromised. It's a little hard for me to 'get going' with the modeling sometimes, but once I'm a few minutes into it I find it enjoyable and relaxing to 'nerd out', even though it looks sort of like a grade schoolers work lol. I'm sorry that you and the misses are at odds, Old Man Modeler. You aren't here looking for advice, and I'm certainly not one to give it, but I remind myself of something my friend says: "would you rather be right, or be married?". As someone who grew up not having a voice, getting shut down, and feeling irrelevant, my toxic trait (one of them, anyways) was often having to 'be right' during any type of disagreement or conflict. I hope you have some words of wisdom or other guiding light to help keep you calm and focused.

 

[OldManModeler]

I'm new to the hobby, only picking it up a month-ish ago. I NEEDED something to do that would be different than staring at my phone, or working. 'The man' gets a lot of my time already. Usually this time of year I exercise pretty regularly, but the space I've done that in is currently......compromised. It's a little hard for me to 'get going' with the modeling sometimes, but once I'm a few minutes into it I find it enjoyable and relaxing to 'nerd out', even though it looks sort of like a grade schoolers work lol. I'm sorry that you and the misses are at odds, Old Man Modeler. You aren't here looking for advice, and I'm certainly not one to give it, but I remind myself of something my friend says: "would you rather be right, or be married?". As someone who grew up not having a voice, getting shut down, and feeling irrelevant, my toxic trait (one of them, anyways) was often having to 'be right' during any type of disagreement or conflict. I hope you have some words of wisdom or other guiding light to help keep you calm and focused.

Thank you for that, Chuck,

It's just a hiccup, in a way of stress induced changes coming as she is about to retire. Finally, we can get on with our lives. Retirement means 'old' and some women don't like that 3 letter word. At all.

But building kits in my mancave keeps me away from the her mood swings.

Be well. Model retired.

Eric

 

[Edbert]

I don't know you , or your wife OMM. So my comments are just generalized even if I am replying to your thread.

I've been married once, 33 years within less than a month. Only two kids, but 4 grandkids.

I cannot imagine any relationship of more than a few months that does not have a conflict or two. I think that if anyone says they have it, they are either lying or the cause of the conflict and oblivious to it.

I think they key to any successful relationship is that you each have interests that do not involve the other. If either of you must be entertained 100% of the time by the other, there's no hope. I spent years trying to tell my wife she "needs a hobby" something you do just because you enjoy it. I think having that time alone doing whatever is key to a good mental state (married or not), you cannot spend your entire life trying to provide for, or care for, or entertain others, you will break eventually. My wife enjoys watching those music shows, American Idol or the Voice or whatever. It is pure fingernails on a chalkboard for me, but I don't worry about that because she rolls her eyes when I play with my plastic army men and toy airplanes. Fine. GOOD!

Financial stresses are different, and I have nothing to offer there. I am a few years from retiring, the key to knowing when you can do so depends almost entirely on knowing how long you will live, so there's no way to know. But building a few models a year should not be the cause of financial strain.

There are two life events that statistics show cause a blip in the divorce rates. When the youngest child graduates, and retirtement. Many couples stay together "for the children" and when that is no longer paramount, well...similarly many happy couples enjoy each other's company when it is 4 to 8 hours a day, not 24.

But both of those statistical events can be solved if you each have a hobby!

 

[OldManModeler]

I don't know you , or your wife OMM. So my comments are just generalized even if I am replying to your thread.

I've been married once, 33 years within less than a month. Only two kids, but 4 grandkids.

I cannot imagine any relationship of more than a few months that does not have a conflict or two. I think that if anyone says they have it, they are either lying or the cause of the conflict and oblivious to it.

I think they key to any successful relationship is that you each have interests that do not involve the other. If either of you must be entertained 100% of the time by the other, there's no hope. I spent years trying to tell my wife she "needs a hobby" something you do just because you enjoy it. I think having that time alone doing whatever is key to a good mental state (married or not), you cannot spend your entire life trying to provide for, or care for, or entertain others, you will break eventually. My wife enjoys watching those music shows, American Idol or the Voice or whatever. It is pure fingernails on a chalkboard for me, but I don't worry about that because she rolls her eyes when I play with my plastic army men and toy airplanes. Fine. GOOD!

Financial stresses are different, and I have nothing to offer there. I am a few years from retiring, the key to knowing when you can do so depends almost entirely on knowing how long you will live, so there's no way to know. But building a few models a year should not be the cause of financial strain.

There are two life events that statistics show cause a blip in the divorce rates. When the youngest child graduates, and retirtement. Many couples stay together "for the children" and when that is no longer paramount, well...similarly many happy couples enjoy each other's company when it is 4 to 8 hours a day, not 24.

But both of those statistical events can be solved if you each have a hobby!

Thanks. I started this thread as a vent. Bad form, I know.

My situation isn't any different that most marriages.

Our 'kids' have been out of the house for years. I retired 3 years ago, but still work. Can't stop. We have separate hobbies. She bakes and cooks for friends and family and holds an elected position at her 'club'. I fix everything and work on vehicles and once in a while; I play with plastic model kits.

And there is the retirement issue with women and age consciousness.... yada yada

All you married folks either know what I'm talking about, or you just hopped on the marriage - turnip truck. We will disagree with our better half. Guaranteed.

When I said money issues, it's not what ya'll might think. We aren't poor, or rich. Wife wants (thinks we need) a new RV and I told her that we have to wait until we sell one of our homes after she retires. Or she can dump some stock. It's not like we're starving living in a van and can't pay the rent. And I don't want a another RV anyway, Never again. She can buy what she wants, but don't expect me to agree about it. We have enough vehicles and toys to keep me busy another 60 years with upkeep, It's just stupid. So, it doesn't matter how much a couple has, , or makes. It's how they make use of it wisely and agree to goals. I don't buy a model kit that costs over $100 unless I talk to her first. I have a cache of kits, so why buy another. A $150 model kit does not fit into our goals. Silly, I know. Our goals are the same most of the time.

Vent over. Wifes got dinner ready. Bless her heart.

Be well. Model on.

Eric

 

[papaof2]

I retired 4 years ahead of my wife. Woodworking has been a lifelong pursuit. Took up modeling last year as a way to keep my mind sharp. I don't do big woodworking projects now days and don't venture out to the workshop when it's below 50. Modeling allows me to sit on the sun porch, watch the critters at the bird feeder, listen to Fox business on the TV, and just enjoy my time with SWMBO. She quilts, gardens, cans, bakes and puts up with me. We play pickleball twice a week, a pursuit I highly recommend, and don't say you're too old, we play regularly with a 97 year old Korean war vet. Were usually up around 5 and go till 1-2 and meet at the recliners for reading or internet surfing and a nap. We've been together 50+ years married for 48 and most dustups are my fault, but she still loves me and I her.
Love her, cherish her and treat her like your Queen even on days when she can be trying.

 

[Pantherman]

So, lately, my better half and I have had some disputes. It's always about money. So, I retreat to my shop and build plastic kits or work on the tractor or Jeeps... or cut firewood... yada yada. There is always maintenance to do on the vehicles and equipment. Or parts to add to the current plastic model build. Escapism.

Let's hear about why, and when, you build kits. Is it to escape. To win awards. To complete a passion. A pastime. A genuine hobby. I am curious to see if I am alone in the escape and pastime part.

My relationship with my wife is great, but hiccups happen. This helped a lot:



Be well. Model on.

Eric

I got into this great hobby when a therapist helping my daughter deal with her issues said that I wasn't far off a complete breakdown !!!!!!

She suggested I take up a hobby so that my life wasn't just work and caring for family so I bought a cheap tamiya kit and it changed my life for the better.

The power of plastic is amazing. My wife often comments on me playing with soldiers but I point out that I paint them, I don't play with them...... Pantherman

 

[Jim62]

Just a return to a hobby I enjoyed as a kid, but to be able to do it better and make my own little private 1/48th combat aircraft museum, and not blow them up with firecrackers. Been in the middle of build for a while now with other life activities but I'll get back to it soon I'm sure.

 

[BarleyBop]

...my wife says "not too sure exactly what you do in there, but I like the man who comes out of that room!"

 

[Bodeen]

I retired from a maximum security prison. When I worked there i built models to escape. Now that my wife and I are together full time, I build models to escape.

 

[OldManModeler]

A new addition to the homestead:

He's going to cut back on my sleep and modeling a little (a lot). Especially until potty trained.

Cairn Terrier - mix, we think. Like a 1/6th scale real dog. He is adorable.

Still working on a name for this little dude.

Be well. Model puppies.

Eric

 

[Sweet-Chuck]

HELLO AND GOOD MORNING LITTLE MUTT!!!!!!

 

[Bodeen]

A new addition to the homestead:

View attachment 137612

He's going to cut back on my sleep and modeling a little (a lot). Especially until potty trained.

Cairn Terrier - mix, we think. Like a 1/6th scale real dog. He is adorable.

Still working on a name for this little dude.

Be well. Model puppies.

Eric

He looks like a Ralph. He's a cute little guy.

 

[Steve Ski]

I retired 4 years ahead of my wife. Woodworking has been a lifelong pursuit. Took up modeling last year as a way to keep my mind sharp. I don't do big woodworking projects now days and don't venture out to the workshop when it's below 50. Modeling allows me to sit on the sun porch, watch the critters at the bird feeder, listen to Fox business on the TV, and just enjoy my time with SWMBO. She quilts, gardens, cans, bakes and puts up with me. We play pickleball twice a week, a pursuit I highly recommend, and don't say you're too old, we play regularly with a 97 year old Korean war vet. Were usually up around 5 and go till 1-2 and meet at the recliners for reading or internet surfing and a nap. We've been together 50+ years married for 48 and most dustups are my fault, but she still loves me and I her.
Love her, cherish her and treat her like your Queen even on days when she can be trying.

Well, Papa just about summed it perfectly, excellent words of wisdom, Amigo!

I've been "sniffin paint and gluin my fingers together" since I was kid, then off and on until retirement. Once me and my pretty little woman got her kitchen built it was all bunker time for me. I do it for the artistic expression and challenge. I'm always learning, so I don't think it will ever get boring, unless of course I'm cutting out ivy leaves or painting Tartans, HA! My wife is my biggest fan and she's also my "Realism" consultant. I always call her in to check and recheck my work. Over the years she's developed a good eye for catching anything I've missed and usually has good advice, but not always. She may not hold the brush, but she can spot a boof that I might have missed. After 35+yrs, she's a keeper, and always has been!

One thing I will add to the relationship issue is this; I usually grab a bundle of flowers from the store every other week or so, just cause. She appreciates it and I enjoy making her happy. If she can put up with me for all this time, she deserves the Medal of Honor!

And there you have it

 

[Grumpa]

Ugh! where to start, been shackled better side of half a century...and have loved every minute of it.
My Angel, Colleen, had truly (and literally) saved my life way back in the days of old.
You see I came from a broken family and basically grew up on the hard streets of The South Bronx NYC (look it up)
Let's just say I was of a 'fairer' complexion than most of my compadres, which meant I basically had to fight for
my right to even exist more times than I would like to remember.

Then came the Draft, to make a long story very short...three years later I came home basically to no one
and nothing. With no familial and social values to fall back on, I returned even more of a monster than when I
had left.....not a good thing. P.S never want to discuss this aspect again.

Then by a complete fluke of destiny, by grabbing hold of a runaway pup and returning him to a beautiful teen age girl
who was in distress, I met my Angel.
Me and a few other toughs were actually on our way to do something not so nice, when she touched my hand
in thankfulness, it was like a bolt from the blue. My hole rotten life seemed to flash before my eyes.
Sounds corny right? But I don't know how else to describe it.

For the first time in my life I felt true gentleness and her eyes melted me like an ice-cream come in the Sahara.
Ancient history I know, but from that moment onward neither one of us has ever looked back.
Two sons and seven Grand kids later we have kept every one close. We all share a forty acre homestead
with three homes and a very steady logging and firewood business for almost thirty years now.

Getting back to the subject, modelling is something that I always seem to have to make time for
and not something to occupy my time. I'm sure you know a bit of what I speak Old Man,
equipment is always breaking down and in need of maintenance. While I can no longer
go on the "hard tracts" with the boys there is always a load of stuff to do around here.
Maybe that's why me and the Missus never get on each other's nerves....to darn busy!

By the time the day is done we are glad to be able to get together...for a bit anyway.
then she's off to her sewing or her computer games and I either hit the bench or YOUTUBE!

Jim.

 

[Grumpa]

One side bar to consider, we here in NY and indeed the whole nation were hit very hard and tragically
on 9/11/2001. the very next day I was on my way to "ground zero" as it was called then. It was a highly
restricted area (about 2 square miles) with over 2,000 national guard troops guarding an impenetrable
zone. Only those with "official' duties were allowed anywhere near it.

Because of my time working for the NYC office of emergency management and my FDNY and NYPD
connections I was allowed entry.
I saw too many things and spent way too much time there which my wife says took at least ten years off
her life worrying about me. I now suffer from a very severe form of COPD from over ninety days off
breathing in God knows what.

Here's a few pics I took with a little old Kodak Instamatic camera which was absolutely forbidden
which was all I had to hear to do it.
Only a couple of pics I will show (mild images so don't worry)
you will see me and my BFF from my Bronx early years (also a former Marine) who was a retired police detective
he was also a Jim, we were affectionately known as The 'James gang'....... by the way I'm the little white guy.

 

[mcs1056]

So, lately, my better half and I have had some disputes. It's always about money. So, I retreat to my shop and build plastic kits or work on the tractor or Jeeps... or cut firewood... yada yada. There is always maintenance to do on the vehicles and equipment. Or parts to add to the current plastic model build. Escapism.

Let's hear about why, and when, you build kits. Is it to escape. To win awards. To complete a passion. A pastime. A genuine hobby. I am curious to see if I am alone in the escape and pastime part.

My relationship with my wife is great, but hiccups happen. This helped a lot:



Be well. Model on.

Eric

Responding to the original post…
Though we all do need space at times, running away from issues is never the best, especially when it comes to relationships, and even MORE so if it is a marriag…

I can't.

I just posted "my routine" on an older thread. Separation is what's kept us together for 35 years.

 

[Edbert]

Separation is what's kept us together for 35 years.

Periodic and measured, I agree, followed by periods of the opposite.

But that is the key to almost everything...balance.

 

[Gball]

due to recent mobility issues, I have returned to the bench as a way of remaining sane. It keeps me focussed on a task and stops me from vegetating in front of the tv

 

[locomotive]

I suppose I model for several reasons…
Been doing it since I was a bairn,
I like making things,
Like to be busy (much to wife's annoyance sometimes, "will you just rest? ")
Plus mental health.
Been through some hard family times, ex firefighter, complex PTSD, you know how it goes.
And like others have said, she has her sewing, dressmaking and friends, I have my hobbies.

So really, I do it so that I don't kill her in her sleep, with a pillow, nice and quiet like…..


****… did I say that out loud?

 

[mcs1056]

I suppose I model for several reasons…
Been doing it since I was a bairn,
I like making things,
Like to be busy (much to wife's annoyance sometimes, "will you just rest? ")
Plus mental health.
Been through some hard family times, ex firefighter, complex PTSD, you know how it goes.
And like others have said, she has her sewing, dressmaking and friends, I have my hobbies.

So really, I do it so that I don't kill her in her sleep, with a pillow, nice and quiet like…..


****… did I say that out loud?

 

[Bob T]

And since Rod Stewart is a model railroader, this works.

 

[BarleyBop]

I don't build models to "escape life"

Right on the money.
It enhances, enriches and expands.
Participating for the last couple of months in something as banal (some would say) as a model forum has lead me to new perspectives, interests, appreciation of the hobby in all its forms, and the opportunity to enjoy the trove of experiences other builders have shared with me!